I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the chances we get in life, and specifically love. As someone who is twice divorced, this is a hot topic for me and one that I’ve thought about very differently over the years. When I was young, I believed in one soulmate. That there was this one person out there who was your perfect match. The logistics of you never running into them never occurred to me. There was this soulmate and eventually I would meet him. We would just know, and we would hold on to each other. Then we would live out our lives like a Disney movie…. happily ever after. When I met my first husband, I believed he was it. We had the deep instant connection. He wasn’t afraid of being with me or committing to me. Everything was wonderful. Until I got divorced. After that I was faced with the downfall of my belief system. After all, if this had been my one soulmate, then I was doomed right? But I was still young and full of hope. And so I chose to believe that I wasn’t doomed yet. But I was soured on the idea of a soulmate. I moved on to believing there were lots of people you could work with, you just had to find the right one. And my ever optimistic heart met husband number two and believed he was that right one. I believed we were going to make happiness and grow old together. Everything was wonderful. Until I got divorced again.

Classified Ads

I say there is no difference. If we are not married, we are single. Period. Full stop. And I’m staging an uprising of the no-longer-marrieds everywhere. That’s right, I’m calling for us to band together against this mutual cause. There is no need to be branded forever as divorced. We may not be married, but we are certainly single. We are single… again!

Dating BBW

When you were a child, you had dreams. Maybe you dreamed of some great career. Maybe you dreamed of getting married and having kids. Maybe you dreamed of being tall enough to reach the cookie jar. The possibilities are endless. But I can almost guarantee you did NOT dream of growing up and being divorced one day. I think we can all agree that divorce wasn’t in anyone’s grand plan. It’s not something you aspire to, or even something you’re particularly proud of. And in most situations, it’s something you’d simply rather not tell people. I mean, it truly is rarely relevant.

Divorced Ladies Online

Here is what you do. Refuse to check the box. I’m serious now, the revolt is just that simple. Refuse to check the box. The next time you fill out a form in the doctor’s office, or a survey to win that free car, remember that you are single… again. You are no different than the never married. You are every bit as single as they are! Refuse to be branded by your past. Reclaim your dignity! Check the “single” box. If we band together to make this point, the divorced box will fall out of vogue. It’s basic darwinism. We will evolve forms and soceity’s minds to stop branding us as anything other than the very basic “single” that we are. They will be forced to remove the checkbox and stop creating a new demographic category for us. We can re-enter society with our collective head held high. We can be single….. again! Who’s with me?

Free Dating

What is the difference between that divorced checkbox and the single checkbox in the first place? I am not married, therefore I am single. Do you really need to know why? And if so, where is the checkbox for “Has an annoying loud laugh” or perhaps in my case, “Is quite stubborn”? Surely that is every bit as relevant to the mole on back as my divorce is when I’m at the dermatologist’s office. Which is, to say, not at all.

Single Men and Women

So why then does every form which collects any demographic information feel otherwise? Ever since my divorce, I’ve discovered that most every form I fill out wants to know if I’m single, married, widowed, or divorced. And I have yet to figure out why. I mean, why does my doctor need to know this? Does it affect my health? Am I, as a divorced woman, likely to catch some exotic disease that a single woman is immune to? Or what about getting a car loan… is my salary suddenly more or less green if I’m divorced versus never married at all?